In my early twenties I was struggling on many levels. Whilst I was trying to figure out how to be an adult and choosing a career vs staying true to my passions, I was also struggling with my self image and loving my body (as many girls do going trough puberty and becoming a woman). During all this my father passed away. I wanted to run away, escape, I wanted to leave my body. It was hell on earth and there seemed to be nothing that I could do about it. 

A few years earlier I stumbled upon yoga and really liked it. It felt good in my body and made me feel peaceful. Little did I know then that it was going to be my lifesaver….

Gene Roth, a very cleaver woman, says: ”Hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are.”  And that was exactly how I was feeling. I just wanted to numb out any traces of feelings, I didn’t listen to my body and I put a lid on all desires. I figured: What is the point of wanting something that you can’t have. Why not spare yourself the pain and turn to something you can have (insert your option here; food, alcohol, drugs, sex, your phone etc) instead.

Being a ”good girl” I kept my practice and slowly I began to listen again, and I gave myself permission to feel – the good/the bad/the ugly. The full spectra with all the labels and judgment that comes with it. And I am still practicing 🙂

The point is that when you give yourself permission to want what you want instead of replacing it with a substitution, you make contact with your hearts desire. When you listen to that language, you hear yourself. If you give yourself permission to want without judging or dismissing your desires as crazy, you, too, have the power to return yourself to what you want most, the center of your own stunning, tender, radiant heart. 

”You, it turns out, have been the cupcake (desire) all along”. – Gene Roth 

I think it is one of the reasons why I’m so passionate about the practice and sharing it with others. I know the power of it. My practice keeps me fit not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. It brings me back home and gives me permission to be me. Unfiltered! 

I would love to hear your DESIRE – please tell me.

Johanna